A poem to describe how I feel about myself inside

SCARED

I am driven,
motivated,
inspired,
often crippled, by fear.
Failure is an option
and success is scripted.
If I fail at this life,
it will be said:
“I always knew he would
turn out like that.”
Should I succeed,
it will be said
“I always knew he could do it.”
so I’m afraid,
the double standards,
double talk,
and hypocrisy that govern us,
stalk me like a shadow in an alley.
How I felt has never mattered,
only what others think.
I carry around the pain
like so many nickels and dimes,
while others poke fun
at my insecurities.
And why not? I’m afraid.
afraid to fail
afraid to succeed,
afraid to be the man,
whoever he is!